WHAT IF I TOLD YOU…

All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts….

Although I strive throughout the years of awareness (this is what I call my sobriety, considering I was painfully unaware of so many things prior to that…) to be the best I can be, learn and grow in order to progress and find happiness… I am not, I fear, always as authentic as would provide the ultimate of results.

Truth be told authenticity is not as easy as it may sound… or feel.  It is not as cut and dry and to say that one is being “honest” and the avoidance of telling a lie is not necessarily something that will be done with authenticity.  The biggest problem with human’s being authentic… is in not knowing who we really are or what IS authentic within us.  So many parts and pieces around have fed us information over the years, chief amongst them our own consciousness…. that we become filled with inauthentic personality traits without even knowing we are displaying anything less than what we would believe to be the “truth”.

I imagine that for many parts of my life I have been false, whether it is on purpose or something I believed to be real.  It is entirely possible that I have put forth imitations of people or energy that I wished to emulate only because it is part of my own personal growth process.  The intent is important… if it is coming from an honest place, at least that is authentic even if the final result isn’t quite there.

For much of my life I believe I have stepped up in areas that I could excel in merely to cover up for my own assumed inefficiencies.  Lack of esteem can be a killer… even if one does not honestly know that they are being plagued with its potentially negative effects.  Childhood into adult surroundings and influences create persona’s  in our minds that we can believe are true, but they don’t necessarily reflect the real human we are… and can be authentically.  For many (and here I include myself) there are shame cycles that will not be dealt with outwardly because for years it became easier to deny, avoid and pretend they don’t exist simply by over-compensation in other areas of my life.  And although the final result of the successes I have achieved are authentic, the personality behind them has not always been.

In this over-compensation I have created a strong personality… and a winning, successful formula for several important aspects of my life.  Growth has never been a problem because I have worked tirelessly to be “better” in order to psychologically make up for the shame I feel underneath.

No matter how much success a person experiences it is not fully realized unless it is authentic.

Although personally I am not one to believe in New Year’s resolutions (when, in fact, the strive for improvement should be happening all year around) I do believe there is no opportunity like the present… a year I intuitively feel will offer me magnificent changes and personal growth, to fully understand my own authenticity.  With the recognition of the parts of me that may be in any way false or insincere as a representation to the outer world I will be able to push myself honestly and recognize my greatest successes yet.  Real success. Perhaps successes that will aid others in realizing their authenticity as well.

What does that look like?  Perhaps I will examine the ideas and theories that revolve around success (obviously a subjective term) in future entries.  Today it only need be recognized as an equal to happiness.  Not the sort of happiness that is necessarily discovered with the comforts of money and / or fame (ask some and they will tell you that can be vapid and empty)… but the type that provides a true spiritual and AUTHENTIC sense of having arrived on a proper and well-lit “path”.

With authenticity the shames of the past are no longer the ruling force of the being.  I have been working towards this for many years and one of the primary stumbling blocks to its delivery would simply be the absence of my own power to recognize that I can work through and make it to the other side of what was being stuffed subconsciously … and covered with over-compensation.

That power is authentic.  Authenticity is power.

This is a breakthrough and in 2010 I fully expect and await many more.

Be Happy.  Be Well.  Be.